The Ballad of the Cross-Country Gentleman

While looking over
something else, I came across this silly poem I wrote years ago. The morality
of a man ducking his creditors might be a little skewed, but the silliness is
definitely intact. Enjoy laughing at the poor poetry too, I certainly
did. 
________________________________
There
once was a man that was named Don Quintoe,
With
so many bills he didn’t know what to doe,
So
he threw up his hands, said “Away with these bills!”
And
he ran through the door to the road to the hills.
His
creditors heard, and didn’t like this at all,
So
they took to the road and they vowed they would maul,
That
bold Don Quintoe, who was having such a ball,
Out
where the sun shown free, and he owed nobody.
CHORUS:
“I am Don Quintoe,
“I
owe and I owe,
“But
I’ll not go away
“Till
the queen you lay,
“At
the feet of this Don,
“The
cross-country gentlemon!”
He
ran and he ran, and rejoiced at being free,
Till
he did look behind him and then he did see,
Those
men who resented his having defected,
And
were determined to see their bills paid.
They
were behind, as has already been said,
But
did I tell you they were also ahead?
Don
gasped in his shock at the creditors sundry,
And
promptly decided to go cross-country!
CHORUS
Away
Don did go, up and up he did run,
Away
from the hot road bathed by the warm sun,
He
ran till he came to a dark forest’s mouth.
This
forest was dark, deep, and ran from the south;
Should
he enter a place so dark it erased
The
sun (for branches together so tightly laced)?
Evil
things must dwell there to live out of the sun,
For
good things exist without that orb none.
CHORUS
Don
entered the forest, with nary a peep,
Though
he knew that doing so was a great leap,
And
as soon as he came, adventure he found,
For
into his sight a huge creature did bound.
This
beast had great horns, twice three, on top his head,
His
eyes looked as though he was never abed,
And
he growled at our Don, “What do you here, mon?”
Quintoe
took a deep breath and then said the Don,
CHORUS
“What
Queen?” said the beast, his brow creased hard with thought,
“I
don’t know,” answered Don. “But it does rhyme a lot.”
“Hold
hard, Don Quintoe,” growled the enormous beast,
“I
know of a queen, and in beauty not least,
“An
evil ogre’s cellar she does lie beneath.
“Who
also has a good fortune to bequeath.”
“A
fortune?” said Don, pricking up his large ares,
“Lead
on, beast; to rescue this fair queen I do dares!”
CHORUS
The
beast led Don deep, deep into the dark wood,
Till
at last in front of the ogre’s house they stood.
Don
did shake in his boots, till he thought of his bills;
“No
ogre is worse than a man unpaid who sills
His
goods to those who cannot pay all that he asks.”
And
the knocker Don took and in danger did bask.
“Bang!
Bang!” went the door, for the knocker was large,
And
soon through the door the great ogre did barge.
CHORUS
“You’re
who?” said the ogre with a gleam in his eye,
Don
answered him not, but gripped his staff for to die,
He
lifted his staff and the ogre did see,
What
looked like the trunk of a very large tree
Coming
down on his head, but he sidestepped instead,
And
grabbed for Don with his sharp, horrible claws.
Don
stepped aside fast, and rapped him but good,
And
the ogre did fall right where he had stood.
CHORUS
Out
the queen she did run, the good Don to see,
And
a punishment fitting she did decree,
On
the ogre who had kept her so painfully,
For
all of Don’s bills she then transferred you see,
To
the ogre who lay in the depths of the wood.
But
Don she did wed; and he found he could
Buy
what he would, yet now he could pay,
And
Don lived quite happily on from that day.
CHORUS
CHORUS
And
sometimes
CHORUS
AGAIN

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *